I died today…

architecture building cemetery chapel
Photo by Mikes Photos on Pexels.com

So I’m putting myself out there again today. If you read an earlier post, “Meanwhile, back at the coffee house…”, you know that Sammy and I shared poetry at the open mic night at Austin’s coffee (https://austinscoffee.com/) a couple of weeks ago. Recall that yesterday I referenced that my poetry can be dark. Well, here goes…

I died today…

Not the traditional heart stop, ride in an ambulance, enter the ER, end up in ICU, flatline, get wheeled to the coroner, cut opened and examined, the cause of death “undetermined”, get released to the mortuary, the family picks a casket, chooses a final outfit, hundreds of people (or only ten people) show and cry (or don’t cry) about my passing, casket gets transported to the cemetery, six foot hole dug, casket lowered into the ground, weeks pass before the headstone arrives, flowers are placed on the marker every few weeks for the first month or two, and then nothing but weeds.

As I sit here nursing a fine Pinot, I internalize that we are all dying every day, not necessarily from heart failure, but by a failure of the heart, a failure of our fellow man giving a shit about how we are treated, unaware that they are chiseling away at our soul the way an artist creates a masterpiece, but there is no creation here, the chisel peels away at us creating marks, abrasions, scars…we become a fragment of who we once were when we were fresh from the womb, before mankind hammers away at us, etching their needs, demands, desires, expectations, and control.

Why can’t we be left to our own devices, our dreams, our hopes, our beliefs, and live in a world where differences, uniqueness, even eccentricities are not only honored but celebrated?

Stay groovy…

–Susie

Copyright Susie Krivacic 2018

 

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